The Torah reading, and the Havdalah ceremony continue to be the focal point of private b* mitzvah celebrations. The Torah ceremony follows the essential sequence from the Shabbat (Saturday) morning celebration. The big difference is that only three readings are chanted from the Torah. This shortens the time required for the ceremony to about twenty minutes. It also limits the amount of Torah honors traditionally available.
In a private ceremony, the structure of the celebration becomes much more flexible. The requirements for the larger afternoon and evening liturgy become options. Many families take advantage of this flexibility. They appreciate the opportunity to move beyond a physical prayer book, and create a personalized set of slides to project their service. This offers multiple advantages: it is more economical than printing, more environmentally friendly than printing, and creates a more inviting ambience. It is far friendlier for people with vision challenges. Also, it is much nicer when everyone’s heads are up and looking forward than looking down into a pamphlet or book!
Of course, the ability to pivot on-site from ceremony to the celebration is also a great benefit to this approach.
The Havdalah ceremony is beautiful. A multi-wick candle, aromatic spices, and grape juice/wine are all blessed with beautiful singing as the celebrant is encircled by loved ones. The ambiance is often enhanced by turning off the lights.
Five Considerations
Plan a solid 45 minutes for an essential b* mitzvah ceremony of Torah and Havdalah ceremonies.
Add another half-hour (approximately) to include the traditional afternoon and evening liturgies.
The time between the two ceremonies is a perfect opportunity for the b* mitzvah to share words of Torah, a statement of identity, or other meaningful words.
Siblings can be incorporated as Havdalah helpers by holding some of these special items!
A special Havdalah set for the occasion becomes a special family heirloom for future celebrations.